I almost didn’t want to come for this wedding so I won’t be reminded of the past but Bolaji has been a good friend to me and stood by me after everything that happened between his friend Femi and I, and the least I could do for him was to honour his invitation to his wedding. I watched Femi and Vivian from across the room as they happily walked towards the high table, as I looked at the smile on their faces, I couldn’t tell if I have forgiven them yet, but I honestly wished they were as happy as they looked.
That was the same smile she had on the first day I met her. Femi and I had been dating for two years and he kept telling me about his best friend that he had known since he was twelve, he told me how close they were but then I underestimated their friendship. She was arriving from England where she had gone for her master’s degree programme and Femi had requested I go with him to pick her up from the airport, I was excited because I was finally going to meet this best friend I had been hearing about and to be honest I felt a bit nervous because I wanted her to like me. There she was smiling so beautifully and waving towards Femi, she ran towards him and kissed him on both cheeks, she was really excited to see him and so was he, we got introduced and she greeted me with so much smile and happiness, my whole dentition was on display cause I thought I had finally made it to her good book, we went to the car and she went to sit in front with Femi while I was left to occupy the back seat, Femi didn’t see anything wrong with it, It felt awkward and I was pissed but I tried my best not to give any meaning to it, I wanted to remain on her good side. On our way home, they talked, laughed and played. For a moment, they must have totally forgotten about me as I sat at the back looking like thehelp but I also thought I needed to let them catch up on old times, I never knew that was my first mistake I made in my relationship with Femi.
Getting to Vivian’s house, I was surprised to see how close Femi was to Vivian’s family, I mean, strangers at the welcoming party her family had organized for her might have mistaken him for their son in-law. As every other normal human being in my shoes, there were times during the party I got jealous but I was trying to be perfect, I didn’t want to be one of those “insecure women”. “Femi loves me and Vivian knows we are engaged, so there’s no big deal” I said to myself. I trust my man.
Four months had gone by and it seems my hour glass that was filled with the trust powder was getting exhausted, I mean, how could you explain me walking into Femi’s apartment on a fine Saturday morning only for me to discover Vivian had spent the night at his place?
“My God, Osas, what are you trying to say? Look, Vivian and I were flatmates before she travelled, though our parents were against it which led to her moving out, but there’s nothing wrong with my best friend coming to pay me a visit. Besides, she slept in the guest room, so stop sounding like we shared the same bed.”
This was Femi’s way of trying to tell me I sounded like a backward village girl when I got upset about this best friend’ssleepover.
“If your parents were against it, why can’t I also be against it, can’t you see that this is wrong Femi? Give me reasons I shouldn’t get upset!
I retorted. He looked at me, smiling, he placed his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes and then said, “One, you weren’t born in the sixties and two, we are getting married in six months, Vivian is like my sister, give me some credit please” he then walked away.
As the wedding drew closer, complaints were piling up from our friends and people that were close to us concerning Femi and Vivian’s friendship, most of my friends and close relatives even questioned Femi at some point, but as usual, he had his way of explaining their “harmless friendship”. One Saturday morning, while we were at the gym, Hadiza, one of my closest friends who came along with us (Femi, Vivian and myself) couldn’t stand all their mushiness and closeness while we were there, she pulled me out to talk.
“Isn’t this is too much, Osas? I’m surprised that you are putting up with this, or is there something we should know?”She asked me.
“Hadiza, what are you talking about? I pretended to be clueless, she looked at me with her eyes wide open and snapped angrily, “In there” she pointed towards their direction, I chuckled briefly and replied her, “They have been like that for eighteen years and nothing happened, what makes you think something will happen now? They are just friends, there’s nothing to be worried about kwo?” I knew I sounded like a fool in love and I knew I was blinded to so many things and changes in our relationship that has been happening since Vivian returned including her still coming for sleepovers at Femi’s apartment occasionally even after I had complained but I love Femi so much and I was trying my best to give them the benefit of doubt. I needed to fight for my relationship, two years together was too difficult to throw away.
Femi’s older sister, Aunty Bimbo, summoned me for a meeting with her one afternoon after she overheard an argument I had with Femi concerning Vivian, she got so angry about why I had been putting up with them without talking to any member of the family, she also told me how she had scolded the both of them over the same issue and went further to apologise on their behalf and promised not to take it lightly with them this time.
Well, she must have kept to her word as Femi stormed into my office few days later, speaking with so much anger and how disappointed he was in me. According to him, I didn’t trust him enough that I had to report him to his older sister. In his words,
“From the very first day we met, I have been telling you about Vivian, I made my friendship with her very open to you, I have never cheated on you with any other woman, we are engaged for heaven’s sake and our wedding is around the corner, I gave you everything, I did everything that is expected of me as your fiancé, I have never complained about your male friends, even when I did everything to make you see that Vivian was like a sister to me, you still couldn’t trust me, what is lovewithout trust?!” He shouted.
I was confused and sad, I couldn’t find the right words, there was pain in his eyes and he was filled with anger, “I never said you should stop being friends with her, I wasn’t just comfortable with how close you guys….” I had not finished speaking when he interrupted me, “If we don’t trust each other then why are we getting married?” He shouted at the top of his voice then stormed out slamming the door behind him leaving me standing there in tears.
Days passed and we didn’t speak to each other, I couldn’t tell the fate of our wedding, it didn’t take too long before our families got to find out Femi and I were not talking to each other and crucial plans concerning the wedding had stopped. Trust Nigerian parents, after planning nonstop, coupled with the multitude of people they had invited, the last thing they want to hear is that the wedding has been cancelled, don’t even make a joke about it. After several meetings with different members of both families, they were warned about any unnecessary closeness or visits. Femi and I settled our differences and continued plans for our wedding, and I felt my worries were almost over.
Few days to our wedding, I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t worried because I connivingly made Femi and I break our vow of abstinence which was the worst decision I made then. I intentionally wanted to get pregnant because I became desperate. We were getting married very soon and I was sure it will take weeks after our wedding before family members would notice. I wanted us to start a family as soon as possible so they both know how to start drawing limits to their friendship…as soon as I found out, I informed Femi who was giving me signs of mixed feelings, “In a few weeks, we are getting married, no one will know” I said to him. We were both seated in the doctor’s office where we went for a confirmatory test. “I know, I’m just nervous” he told me, I smiled and concentrated on the doctor who had just come in to join us, he confirmed I was three weeks gone and I was really excited. Walking down the hospital hall to our car, I noticed Femi was not himself, he was awkwardly quiet and had a sad look.
“You don’t seem to like the news” I told him as I stopped and stood in front of him,
“I am. I told you I’m just nervous”.
“Femi, I won’t get rid of this pregnancy, we are getting married na, it will take weeks for people to even notice, I…” I was about to finish my sentence before Femi gave me the shock of my life.
“Vivian is pregnant, Osas”
At first, I was confused and happy at the same time, confused that coincidentally, she is also pregnant same time as me and happy that she also will be starting her own family sooner than I expected since her fiancé was in town, it looked like my plan was almost perfect. “Wow, when did she find out? I’m happy for her, so we are both going to have our babies almost the sametime” I replied Femi smiling. “Osas” he called, “the pregnancy is mine, Vivian’s pregnancy is mine” he said as tears rolled down his cheek from his left eye. I became mute instantly, I couldn’t move, I felt numb, tears started rolling down my eyes. He got on one knee trying to say something that sounded like an apology, but I gave him two dirty slaps and ran out.
I called off the wedding immediately despite his unending apologies and visits, the news didn’t take long to get to our families when they discovered the wedding was cancelled. I cried for months and shut myself from the world for months, I got tired of hearing “I told you, I warned you” and all sort of “medicine after death” speeches and messages from friends and family, I thought my life was over. After I gave birth, I learnt Vivian and Femi got married, but I didn’t get lucky in that aspect as the few guys I dated later fled as soon as they found out I was a single mum,
I have learnt to live with my choices, most of all, I’m so grateful for my baby girl, Enitan who has brought so much joy into my life after the whole chaos. Now I know better and I’vegrown and also learnt from my mistakes, For now, I’m dedicated to raising my girl right and also self development in every form especially my career. I know this is not the end of my story and I have a happy ending.
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